One Year Later – How I Still See God’s Provision Through My Injury

A little over a year ago, my life changed forever. No, I don’t mean my wedding, although that was also a life-altering event that is quite memorable in many ways. What I’m talking about is the injury that I experienced on September 8, 2020 at work that resulted in a torn achilles tendon. 

On that day, so many things were set into motion for my life. I was confused, uncertain, and worried. I didn’t know at the time of the injury just how bad it was, and how much harder things were about to get for me. I tried to brush it off, ignoring the possibilities of a life-changing injury. I was an athlete, fresh out of college and in good shape. I couldn’t be injured, in my mind it wasn’t possible, or at least that’s what I thought. Bad things could happen to other people, but not me.

How wrong I was. Turns out, I’m just as human as everyone else. Which means I am just as fragile as everyone else too. So when a metal cart ran into the back of my heel, of course it did some damage. I was taken to the urgent care down the road from my work by my manager at the time, and the doctor there proceeded to give me three stitches. He put me in a boot, gave me some crutches, and told me that I would be just fine in 5-7 days. I sadly and wrongfully believed him, further fueling my mentality that I was somehow exempt from life’s tragedies. 

As the week went by, the pain didn’t go away, and the swelling got worse. My husband took me back to urgent care, and we sat there for two hours waiting for them to tell me if something more was wrong with the tendon than they originally thought. The doctor I was seen by dismissed my concerns and told me that checking the tendon was not something that they could do at their level of facility. He told me that I would just have to wait the two days until I was seen by the medical practitioner to get my stitches out. Needless to say I was very frustrated and feeling a bit gaslighted at that moment.

Long story short, my instincts were right. There was more going on than just a cut that needed three stitches. I officially found out that my achilles tendon was torn on September 22, 2020, fourteen days after my initial accident at work. My surgery to fix the tendon wasn’t until the 30th of that month, the very last day of September, more than three weeks after I was injured. That’s a long time to wait to fix such a severe injury, which meant that I had even more ground to make up on the back half of the healing process.

The day that I got hurt was the beginning of a long and ongoing struggle for healing; physically, mentally, and emotionally. And I am still fighting that battle today, I’m still in the thick of the healing process. However, I am a lot farther along than I was a year ago. I have seen some great improvements in my mobility and strength as I slowly work to build it back up through physical therapy and home exercises. 

I recently began jogging again, for short distances at a slow pace. This was huge for me, seeing as I was an athlete with such an intense training regimen for so long. Being able to work out again at a higher intensity than just walking makes it feel like I am taking back what I lost, one small bit at a time. 

I can stand for longer periods of time, walk longer distances. I can jump and do dance workouts, and I can wear high heels again. I feel almost normal. Almost.

There are still things that I cannot fully do, and I don’t know if I ever will be able to do them fully again. I had aspirations to run a marathon someday with my husband, and now I don’t know if that will happen. Some days just walking to the back of the parking lot at work has me limping. And most mornings, I wake up with my foot so stiff that I rival a pirate with a peg leg.

But what I have learned through all of the uncertainty and struggles from the past year is that what really matters is that I am trying. I know where I want to be, but if that is not God’s will, if I am meant to be where I am now, and I don’t progress past this point physically, I can accept that. It won’t be easy, but I can do it. However, I am choosing to believe that there is still more in store for me in this healing. I am going to push myself to be better and stronger each and every day.

As far as mental and emotional healing goes, I have seen progress here too. When I was first injured, I felt utterly broken, incomplete, and unworthy. It felt like there was something wrong with me, at the deepest level of my being, not just physically. I felt helpless, weak, and useless. I could barely do anything for myself, and I felt like I had failed.

God has taken that mentality and completely turned it upside down in the last year. I can look back now and see where I was, and how strong I had to be to get where I am now, to not give up when it became difficult. God pushed me through the hardest and loneliest months of my life, always reminding me that he was right there with me every second of the way. He showed me the vast amounts of support I had, and still have, through my husband, family, church community, and former teammates. He showed me my value outside of my physical ability. And he continues to work miracles in my life daily.

Through this experience, God has provided abundantly. He is such a good Father, and his love has shone through the darkness that tried to surround me directly after my injury and in the following months. After I returned to work in December of 2020, I was given an opportunity to move into the personnel office to help with paperwork and hiring. This was an opportunity that turned into a promotion that would not have been possible had it not been for my injury. 

God put me in the right place at the right time, so that I could be considered for the job I have now. Even though at the time I didn’t understand why God would allow something so life-altering and painful to happen to me, I sort of get it now. It was a wake up call for me, in a sense. I needed to be reminded that God provided, even in circumstances that may not make sense or seem fair to me in the moment. 

God’s plan and direction for my life is so much greater than what I could ever possibly design on my own. I can look back on one year ago and see God’s hand in all of it. Not to say he caused the pain, but he took that tragedy and he used it to take me to a better place than I was in at the time. He saw me through my trials, into triumph. 

One year later, and I am still injured, but less so. One year later, and I have many more to go. One year later, and I can see the hope of new opportunities and experiences. And one year later, I am still me, but a stronger, more resilient version of myself. 

I have been through muck and high water, and I am still swimming in it. But at least I have the skills, support, and mindset to keep pushing forward, to get to the other side and onto dry land. God has prepared me for this moment, and he continues to provide for me everything that I need to weather the storms that I find myself in. He is my Strength and my Redeemer, and I put my hope in him, one day at a time, step by step.