I have always had high expectations for my life. When I was younger, I had this feeling that I was meant for greatness, and I had no doubt that I would achieve it.
I wanted a beautiful house, a loving husband, and doting kids that all looked super cute and coordinated. I wanted a successful career, a large group of friends, and the opportunity to change people’s lives.
And you know what? I still want these things. Some of them I have, but not all. I have a loving husband and a supportive family, but no kids. We live in an apartment, not a house, but we are working towards saving up for one. I have lots of friends, just not all in the same place as me. And I have a job, just maybe not a career yet.
I can’t speak much to whether I am changing people’s lives, but I would like to think that I am at least influencing those near and dear to me in some way. I try my best to remain positive and to be encouraging to others, but I know that I don’t always succeed. I have encountered grace after grace from those around me as they help me to find who I am meant to be, who God has fashioned me to be.
In my current season of life, it is easy for me to see all that is missing, but I am choosing to instead focus on what I do have. I have opportunities for growth and success, people to support and love me along the way, and the means to provide for myself and my family while also having the free time to continue to plan for my future.
Hebrews 4:12 says this, “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” And when I read this, I am reminded that the Holy Spirit is constantly working in our lives, shaping and growing us into who we are meant to be as people and followers of Christ. We need only lean on the Spirit for guidance and hope in our current season, and to trust that even if our current season is not ideal, we are not alone and God will never abandon us. God has equipped you with what you need to make it through this season, trust Him to deliver you on the other side into a better tomorrow.
And while where I am right now may not be where I want to be in the end, I understand that I am only 23-years-old. My story is not over yet. I have most of a lifetime left to figure out who I am meant to be, and where I am supposed to go. And putting undue pressure on myself to fit in or keep up with those around me is not going to help.
I have let the pressure of this world weigh me down for so long. The expectations of everyone else to have a job in my field of study right after college. The constant reminder that I am married but don’t have kids. And the feelings of inadequacy when I see people around me achieving these things when I am not.
I have learned recently, through hard nights of frustrated tears at my current lot in life, that my season of life is not anyone else’s, and I also cannot insert myself into someone else’s season either. I cannot force change that is not meant to happen yet, I cannot push myself into a spot where I am not meant to fit.
It brings me comfort to think of myself as a puzzle piece. I don’t fit everywhere, but there is a place for me. God has fashioned me in such a way, that there is a particular place and purpose for me, but it may take a while to find it. I don’t know about anyone else, but some puzzles are a lot harder to put together than others, and there always seems to be that one piece that you can’t find where it goes. But eventually you do; you find its home, and it helps to complete the bigger picture.
I am a puzzle piece, and so are you. We all are. And I think that it is important to understand, and to encourage in others, that we are not all meant for the same path and purpose. Not everyone can do anything, and that’s okay. It takes time, it takes effort, and it takes commitment.
In 2 Timothy 1:7 it tells us that “the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” God gives us the strength to get through this life. He loves us through our brightest days, as well as through our darkest ones. He empowers us to have self-discipline and self-control, and we are to embrace that and seek Him with all our hearts. The Holy Spirit will never tear you down, He will only strengthen you and build you up to the person you were always meant to be.
Being satisfied in your current season is hard, but I believe that it is possible. We need only remain in God’s faithfulness that He has a plan for us, constantly reminding ourselves of His promises. One thing that has really helped me is the song Yes and Amen by Housefires, and it goes like this “I will rest in your promises. My confidence is your faithfulness.” And it brings me so much peace in my current season to know that God’s promises and faithfulness are all that I need.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 (NIV)
